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“After the Fight” by Jordan Nold (USMC)

Jordan is a Combat Veteran who has struggled with PTSD. He has learned to use …

soldiers move into the smoke and fog of battle

Jordan is a Combat Veteran who has struggled with PTSD. He has learned to use his writing to help keep his demons at bay, and has allowed Sandboxx the privilege of sharing it with all of you.

               Here’s why your combat veteran boyfriend acts so miserable all the time. He loves war more than he loves you. This isn’t to say he doesn’t care about you. You’re the glue that holds his world together. He needs you.


               Since the beginning of time there has been a certain breed of man spread throughout thousands of bloodlines. It’s a tick in your soul that tells you to fight. It’s a curiosity in your heart that starts growing when your a kid playing cops and robbers. When your a teen watching “We were soldiers”, you can’t help but imagine yourself there.

               So you enlist. You choose infantry because you want that guaranteed opportunity to fight. You get that opportunity. Sometimes your friends are killed, you may be wounded, innocent people may die, and it may be the most grueling experience of your life. But…. In your mind, nothing you ever do for the remainder of your existence will ever matter as much as those few moments you spent in the sand with lead flying over your head and America flying through your heart.

               In combat, you’re a knight in golden armor. A king. The commander of the universe. You know in your head that you are representing your family, your country, and your organization in one of the most dangerous and pivotal moments in history. When your pulling that trigger, you are the reaper. That reaper will always remain inside of you. You’ll constantly crave that next moment of glory.

This is something you can never give him….

               Sometimes you may see him explode and people will say he has PTSD or he’s crazy. I assure you he is not. It’s the reaper in him trying to work and it takes immeasurable strength to keep him locked away and especially to throw away the key.

              This, my friends, is why so many of our own commit suicide. I too have tasted this pain lately as I prepare to exit the Marine Corps. The feeing that you will never matter like that again is enough to kill some war fighters will to live.

              For my fellow war fighters, I offer this message. I love you. Not more than, but differently than I could ever love a woman or a child, or a family member. You have mattered, and you will continue to matter for generations to come. The war is dying down. You and many like you have caused that. Your glory didn’t fade when you came home. Your deployments lit a torch that you’ll carry for eternity that casts a light few can see. You’ll always be my brothers, I’ll always be here for you, you will ALWAYS be the reaper.

Everyone share this! There’s 22 people out there that need this right now!

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The editorial team at Sandboxx.