If the day has come to drop off your recruit for boot camp, you’re probably wondering how you’ll ever survive without them.
Basic training is tough on couples, but going into it with the right attitude will keep your relationship in a healthy spot from the start. Whether you feel ready or not, preparing your mindset in advance will help you get through this challenging yet exciting time.
Here’s some military relationship advice for couples to survive basic training together:
1. Understand New Beginnings Are Tough
Keep in mind that you’re a team. New beginnings can be emotional, and it’s your job as a team to work through it together. That means supporting one another, even during the trying times. During basic training, your service member will need a lot of support and motivation.
- Do: Look at this as a new opportunity to challenge your relationship.
- Don’t: Try not to view it as a negative experience that will destroy your relationship.
2. Build Your Tribe
Whether you connect with other military girlfriends and boyfriends online or meet in person, find your support system. There are plenty of Facebook groups that offer positive, uplifting encouragement to service members and their loved ones.
- Do: Find other military significant others to chat with, especially ones attached to your loved one’s division or platoon.
- Don’t: Get involved in negative social media groups.
3. Focus on Bettering Yourself
Once boot camp starts, there’s a lot of down time for the one left behind. While your service member fills their time with making beds and working out, take time to discover what you love to do. Take a college class. Go out with friends. Learn a new language. Whatever will make you proud of yourself, do that.
- Do: Work on yourself in any way you see fit.
- Don’t: Let the days drag by because you’re doing nothing but waiting to hear from your loved one.
4. Adjust Expectations
Look at basic training as a new opportunity to challenge your relationship. Most of what you’ve heard about the military probably is true. It’s not for the faint of heart. Don’t expect regular calls or even a ton of letters. Your recruit is whipped and dog-tired — mentally and physically — by the time they can write you. Cut them slack, and remember that you matter to them.
- Do: Be flexible. It makes life so much easier in general!
- Don’t: Get upset if you don’t get as many letters as you’ve sent. Sometimes it’s a choice between sleep or writing. Let them sleep.
5. Be Supportive
When mail call comes around, your recruit wants to feel the love. Give them plenty of reasons to smile with your positive letters. Now is not the time to nag, complain, or gripe — especially about trivial everyday life. Write them often and lift them up.
- Do: Write encouraging letters every chance you get.
- Don’t: Constantly share negative or bad events that happen daily.
6. Keep the End in Mind
This is important for both of you to keep in mind. The first few weeks of basic training are definitely the hardest. Your usual relationship comfort of being able to connect at any time is immediately cut off. Remember graduation day is a few short weeks away — even if it feels like a lifetime. The pride you and your service member feel will no doubt last an actual lifetime.
- Do: Remind your loved one how proud you are of their efforts.
- Don’t: Complain about how long it’s taking to get to graduation day.
Basic Training Doesn’t Last Forever
When you’re in the middle of it, basic training can feel like it never ends. It probably feels that way for your recruit, too, especially when they’re closing in on 200 pushups for the day.
The best military relationship advice is this: You can be just as strong apart as you are together — if you’re willing.
With every day that passes, you’re that much closer to seeing your other half graduate from basic training. The most important aspect to remember is staying busy and supportive will keep your relationship strong and healthy — even from afar.
What concerns do you have about your relationship surviving boot camp? Share your thoughts below!
My boyfriend just enlisted and is leaving soon for 34 weeks of basics, airborne and training. He’s also doing a couple years of active duty. We talk and see each other a lot so cutting off communication so radically is really scary for me. I’m also worried he’ll get hurt, or something will happen to him. Honestly I’m just overall really sad and don’t get me wrong I’m so proud and happy for him to be serving and doing this, I’m just upset he has to leave especially to do something so dangerous.
I’m an 18 y/o girl, freshman in college. Leaving for basic in May but I’ll be gone until Dec. my boyfriend is wonderful and he’s been through basic years ago, he wants to take a break during basic and pick up where we left off when I get back. I don’t want to take a break but I don’t want him to resent me for being gone 6mo with little communication. Any advice on how to talk about what we should do? I want him to be happy. It would be selfish of me to expect him to wait but I love him and I don’t think this has to end our relationship. Thank you
you need to have a conversation about this with him. If he truly cares for you he will understand that you do not want to take a break. going through something like this will either break ur relationship or make it stronger but taking a break will not help as it would most likely result in you feeling alone during the time apart and you will end up resenting him and he should take that into consideration.
My husband just left yesterday to go to The navy, and he is currently in quarantine. I heard that the CDC changed the quarantine to 7 instead of 14, but I’m honestly not sure if it will change for basic. I miss him a lot, and I am honestly just hoping and praying that we will get his address so I can send him letters.
It’s been a month since my husband left for Navy bootcamp. But I haven’t received the box with his personal belongings neither received the form letter with address. Can someone please have anything to say about this? I
maybe covid.
My fiance left almost a month ago for basic training as well. I thought we were suppose to be sent there belongings to. I think maybe because of covid things are a little different than before?.
My son in law has been in boot camp since Sept 1st. She has only received one letter and one 3 minute call. It is frustrating not knowing if they are getting our letters. Im sure they are crazy busy and very tired at the end of the day.