THAT TIME DELTA FORCE BLEW UP A SCIENCE TEACHER’S DESK WITH A FLASHBANG

My Bud — Guy C. — noticed one day that when he threw a banger (flashbang) into a 55-gallon drum laying on its side, the barrel went tumbling when the banger went off. He got to thinking–a bad thing for the empty hands and minds of Special Forces soldiers. 

“I feel a little advance demolitions trial is on order today,” declared Guy C. 

Nine Alarms went off in my head as I patted myself down, looking for the truck keys. Lending my faith to our unit SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for vehicles, I hoped it had a full tank of gas. Gas: check. Keys present: check. Guy’s advanced demo training events were a bit too spirited for my blood type, which was O negative at times like those. And he continued: 

“Place your bets; will the banger cause the drum to: 

A: Remain standing 

B: Fall over 

C: Lift up off of the ground slightly 

D: Just make a loud noise?” 

Related: HEIGHT-WAIVER GREEN BERET: CAPTAIN JAMES FLAHERTY WAS A SPECIAL FORCES LEGEND

We placed our bets while Guy prepared his next firing device and a recording camera. He fired the banger, which was placed on the ground under the barrel that was placed over it, with the open side down to the ground, and ran like hell. 

When the banger blew it did none of those things to the degree any of us anticipated—the barrel went as high as six stories before settling back down to Earth. It even went completely out of the frame of the recording camera. I was almost sick from the memory of how many bangers I carried on a mission… But the show had to go on! 

Another test we did was to shoot a banger to see if it would detonate like in the movies. To our shock, the flashbang detonated every time it was hit. All shocking revelations. Dumb-founded we took our video to the command group, who had us immediately summon the other squadrons to observe and comment on it. It was dubbed the “Banger Appreciation” film and remained in circulation for at least a year.  

Did I mention the science laboratory teacher’s desk? We all have seen them in school; usually, it was the science teacher’s desk. It was huge and made of hardwood oak and other hardware. It was a combination desk with its own plumbing for fill and drain, had a bunsen burner configuration, wired for electricity, full plumbing, and usually a granite countertop. 

Mine, I found in an abandoned high school in New Orleans. I took a pause in the action to coordinate with my bro, Chill-D, to place a banger in the pencil drawer to see how much damage one banger could inflict on the desk. Lucky for me there was a utility room close behind the desk. I popped the banger fuse, shoved the banger in the desk, and darted for the back room. 

There was a righteous ‘BOOM’. 

Afterward, there was no usable or even recognizable component of the desk; nothing but sticks,  planks, and corollary trifles. Water spouted where the water feed pipe was broken. I shut that down, took a knee, and whispered:  

“God is great.” 

By almighty God and with honor, 

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