Need a laugh? Here are 5 military jokes for National Humor Month

You could probably use a little laugher about now, right?

As the saying goes, laughter is really the best medicine. Plus, at this point, if you don’t laugh, you’d cry since you’re probably on what feels like day 5,000 of self-quarantine.

Given that April starts off with April Fool’s Day, it’s fitting that this month is also known as National Humor Month.

Need something to laugh at?

Below we’ve compiled the best military humor jokes to tickle your funny bone and the scientific reasons you really need a good daily laugh.

Why Humor is Good for You

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Whitney Houston U.S. Army Pacific Public Affairs Office)

Scientists still struggle to explain exactly what makes people laugh. And yes, the concept of humor is itself elusive.

Plus, we all know that humor is subjective.

Although everyone understands intuitively what humor is, and dictionaries may define it simply as “the quality of being amusing,” perhaps the one aspect we do fully understand is that it’s good for the human body.

And we all need to be in our best health right now. If you need a reason to get out of the doldrums and watch a cute cat video or call a friend, we’ve got plenty for you.

Some of the mental and physical benefits include:

Improves immunity – Laughing strengthens the immune system by decreasing stress hormones, increasing immune cells and antibodies.

Automatic stress-reliever – Embracing life’s funny moments relieves stress by relaxing muscles throughout the body and releases endorphins that boost moods.

Natural pain reducer – Endorphins released by laughter also help reduce pain. Goodbye, ibuprofen.

Acts as an emotional release – When you laugh, you relieve negative emotions, which can reduce anxiety and sadness.

Offers new perspective – Having a sense of humor is good for many situations, but especially when life throws challenges your way. It can help you see things from a perspective that makes you feel safer.

Plus, it’s good for your relationship. Humor can help relationships by:

Reducing the room tension – A dose of good humor can quickly diffuse anger and tension by laughing together.

Brings you closer together – When you share positive feelings and inside jokes together, it helps build emotional connections that help you navigate stress, disappointments, and arguments.

Makes forgiveness easier – If you can lighten the mood with humor, it helps you to forgive and move past negative moments faster.

5 Military Jokes to Share This Month

(U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

There’s humor, and then there’s military humor. It doesn’t have to be offensive, either. Like most good comedy, military jokes that are relevant to real life are even more enjoyable because they’re so relatable.

Here we share some our favorite military jokes below:

Real Estate

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines bicker among themselves is because they don’t speak the same language. For instance, here’s what happens after they secure a building:

The Army will post guards around the building.

The Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the doors.

The Marines will kill everybody inside and then set up headquarters.

The Air Force will take out a five-year lease with an option to buy at the end.

Air Force and the Wife

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as Area 51?

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane, only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”

Military Kids

What do you call kids in the military?

Infantry.

Don’t Worry

This Sergeant worried about everything. Then one day the other Sergeants in his unit heard him whistling happily and looking noticeably relaxed.

“What happened?” they asked him in astonishment.

He said, “I’m paying a private to do all my worrying for me.”

“How much do you pay him?’ they asked.

“Two thousand dollars a week,” he replied.

“Wow! How can you afford that?,” they asked.

“I can’t,” he said. “But that’s his worry.”

Gone Fishing

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Navy base. A ragged old Marine Gunnery Sgt. was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.

A curious young Navy fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.

“Fishing,” the old guy simply said.

“Poor old fool,” the Navy officer thought and he invited the ragged old Marine into the pub for a drink.

As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the smart-ass fighter pilot asked, “And how many have you caught?’

“You’re the eighth,” the old Marine Gunny answered.

Note: All the above chuckles are courtesy of VetFriends’ military jokes community page . Some may be edited for clarity.

Try to Find Humor Every Day

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Zachary R. Larsen)

During trying times, it can be hard to lighten up. Life can throw some curveballs your way, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of humor about it. There are times to be serious (especially in military life), but when you can let loose a little each day, it can help big-time with stress relief.

A few ways to find the humor:

Get your giggles in – Smile and laugh at something every day. Even when you don’t feel like it, just the physical act of smiling can boost your mood.

Practice gratitude – Everyone has something to be thankful for every day. When possible, look for the funny moments in your day to be grateful for.

Bring up humor in conversation – Ask questions like “What’s the funniest thing you’ve done?” Doing so can bring up great nostalgia about childhood pranks, colleague interactions, and more.

Share jokes – Whether it’s the above military jokes or other humor, share the joy of laughing with others.

Indulge in comedy – After a long day of work, relax and watch funny movies or TV shows.

Be playful – Play with pets, children, and/or just be silly with people around you.

Make Laughter A Part of Your Daily Life

(U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Savannah L. Waters)

Humor that provokes laughing is a necessity to life. It keeps situations light-hearted and helps you to not take life so seriously.

Consider learning how to use your humor to entertain others. If you’re always making others laugh, you may as well do it for the good of mankind. Explore ways to get outside your comfort zone while engaging others with your humor.

A few options to try:

Become a Certified Laughter Leader (CLL) – Discover the science of laughter, philosophy, psychology, and physical aspects of the Laughter Club method. Becoming a CLL allows you to be a leader for Laughter Clubs and other therapeutic laughter activities. Learn more here.

Do local stand-up – Whether on or off-base, there are always local comedy clubs looking for new and raw talent to take the stage. On your off days, consider looking at ways to make it in the spotlight on nearby stages.

Form your own comedy circle – It can be as formal or informal as you want it to be. Whether it’s a text thread with your funniest friends or an actual group that connects for a social funny hour, make it work for you. These can be groups that meet in-person or online as a way to stay connected through laughter.

No matter how you bring humor into your life, aim for it daily. It can have a significant impact on your day-to-day well-being if you learn to find humor in all areas of life.

Plus, laughing is contagious. And who wouldn’t want to spread around a bit more happiness in times like these?

How do you plan to celebrate National Humor Month? If you have any good military jokes, share in the comments below and make us all laugh!

Feature image courtesy of U.S. Army Cadet Command Army ROTC, photo by Ken Scar