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  • T Minus 16

What to Say When They Worry or Doubt

When doubt creeps in, your Future Soldier doesn’t need perfect words—they need your steady presence. Listen without judgment, remind them that fear is normal, and bring them back to their ‘why.’ In those moments, your belief in them can be the spark that reignites their belief in themselves.

Every Future Soldier hits a moment of doubt—whether it’s days before shipping out, the night after a hard workout, or during a quiet conversation when reality sets in. It’s normal. Committing to the Army is one of the biggest decisions they’ll ever make, and even the most confident recruits question if they’re ready.

As a supporter, what you say in these moments matters. You don’t need the perfect speech. You just need to be steady, honest, and there. Here’s how.

Start by Listening Without Judgment

The most powerful thing you can do is simply let them talk. Don’t jump in with a fix or reassurance right away. Ask:

  • What’s making you nervous?
  • Are you feeling unsure about a specific part?
  • What’s going through your mind right now?

Often, just speaking their fears out loud helps them process and move forward. Don’t try to rush them through discomfort—walk through it with them.

Acknowledge That Fear Is Normal—and Expected

They’re doing something new, demanding, and completely out of their comfort zone. Remind them that courage doesn’t mean not being afraid—it means going forward anyway.

You can say:

  • “Of course you’re nervous. That’s what doing something hard feels like.”
  • “You’re not supposed to feel ready. You’re supposed to be willing to grow.”
  • “Every Soldier you admire had the same thoughts before they shipped.”

Reframing fear as part of the process helps them feel less alone—and more capable.

Remind Them of Their Strength and Progress

n moments of doubt, confidence fades. That’s where your perspective matters. Remind them:

  • How much work they’ve already put in
  • What qualities made them strong enough to enlist
  • What they’ve overcome in the past

You might say:

  • “You’ve already done the hard part—you raised your hand.”
  • “I’ve watched you commit to this for months. That doesn’t disappear overnight.”
  • “Even when you’re scared, you keep showing up. That’s what a Soldier does.”

They need to borrow your belief until they remember their own.

Help Them Refocus on Their “Why”

When doubt creeps in, purpose gets blurry. Bring them back to what started this journey:

  • “What made you want to enlist in the first place?”
  • “What kind of leader or person are you trying to become?”
  • “What do you want to prove—to yourself or the world?”

Helping them reconnect with their motivation can reignite their drive—even when things feel uncertain.

Don’t Promise It Will Be Easy—Promise They Won’t Be Alone

Avoid sugarcoating. Basic Training is tough. Military life has its challenges, but everything in life does. What you can promise is this:

  • “You’re going to get through the hard days—and I’ll be here when you do.”
  • “You don’t have to have it all figured out to take the next step.”
  • “I won’t let you forget what you’re capable of.”

Confidence doesn’t come from comfort—it comes from support, repetition, and the right people reminding you who you are.

Last Call

Every Soldier has doubts. Every family has hard conversations. What matters most is how you show up when they’re questioning themselves. Remember, the Army has been around for over 250 years, in that time there have been millions of men and women take the leap of faith, many worse of mentally and physically than your loved one is, and guess what, they made it. They will to!

You don’t need the perfect words. You just need to remind them: they’re strong, they’re not alone, and they’ve already taken the first courageous step. And when they believe in themselves again—it’ll be, in part, because you believed first.

I’ll be back next week with some more tips and guidance. Until then, Hooah!

SGM Kris Broadus, U.S. Army (Retired)