Spool? How many words do we know by this name — spool? There can be only one and this tale is about a mighty spool. The below image depicts a representative spool whose image we are going to need to get us through this next chapter of SF Antics. Though pallid of title, the plunge of the mighty spool is a legend among the Special Forces boredom-antics chapter.
For t’was in Utah, t’was… in the far down-range testbeds of the test complex, in a sector reserved for testing the dissipation of gases in a controlled environment. One of the features of the complex was a six-story tower with a platform on top. Scampering up the tower and looking down revealed four industrial cable spools devoid of the cable they once carried.
A quick caucus and vote decided the best thing to do under the circumstances was to try to drag a spool to the top of the tower and push it off to experience the thrill of destruction. We set to work using tow ropes, iron bar supports, and our wits to manage one of the spools up to the platform… Finally, we got one up there.
In all anticipation, we pushed the spool free from the platform. It hit the ground with a glorious visual explosion and accompanied crash sound for the eager ear. It was well worth the toil it took to get the spool up to the tower; we celebrated by dragging two more up there and letting them plunge.
The fourth and final spool went up the tower with great difficulty, as the men’s strength was spent… though their hearts’ spirit still soared. The spool finally rested on its perch of glory at the top of the tower. Soon it too would join its three brothers in the far-off distant Hyperopia; the mighty spool too would take its plunge.
We, the men, gathered around the mighty spool six stories up on the postage-stamp-sized platform, struggling for some last worlds befitting the doom of the mighty spool that we hardly even knew; how do you laud such a thing?
“Well… it carried cable, and I reckon it did a good-enough job at that otherwise it wouldn’t be here with these other honorable spools.”
“What makes you think those others were honorable?”
“I’m jus sayin’ iffen they was honorable is all. You go something better to add?”
Each man took the moments to reflect on the peril of the spool in his own way, then off the platform dove the spool. One man blamed the spool for the misery in his life; another man credited the spool with all the joy he experienced in his days as a young man. I looked at the spool falling and marveled at how it looked like it was getting smaller and smaller the farther it fell, knowing full well it was just an illusion.
Then from below the frame of view entered a horrifying sight; an M-880 military utility truck, the one that came to pick us up and take us from this Dante Ring. We yelled but who was to hear? It was the desert so the driver of the truck no-doubt had his worthless truck AC cranked up to high noise.
And the twain met.
A huge cloud of dust brought a thunderous boom and wood shards flew willy-nilly far below. The hood of the truck was destroyed and the windshield smashed. There was that and a plethora of secondary afflictions from the impact. The dumb-founded driver watched us climb down from the tower; he expected an explanation and would get one too, by golly.
Commanders everywhere, I urge you to remember the equation: “free time plus bored soldiers equal mayhem (FT + BS = M)”; it may save you time, money, and grief one day.
By Almighty God and with honor,
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Lol. That equation you posted should be taught to all the higher ups as a warning or a safety brief. I can see it now. Ok officers, anyone not entertaining or finding proper things to do must remember that “free time plus bored soldiers equal mayhem (FT + BS = M)”. Of course that could backfire upon you. More push-ups or something bad. Ok. never mind, mayhem is more fun. Besides, selfishly, I/we love your stories! Spin on, spin on.
Love ya’ much.
Excellent Geo. That is a very nice spool table but I would imagine throwing it and watching a spool can smashed into bits would be the ultimate thrill and it would sure make that boredom disappear.
Susan H says
Geo, so excited to see another story from you. What a fantastic way to start the weekend!
Bored soldiers. LOL. Well, I say you gotta take your fun wherever you can find it!
Waiting eagerly for the next one…
Loula Snell says
And THAT is how you turn an inanimate object into a fond association! Now, every time I use a needle and thread to sew, I’ll look at the small spool and reflect on the fame attributed to its relative!
A really entertaining story, Geo. So grateful to have read it.
Skip M. says
Somehow Young Man you always find a way we can all seem to relate to your experiences (Visions ?).
In this Pc world we need to take time for consideration to all that toiled in factories under piecework pay making all those spools………………..Not, They got paid. We can steel your spools , Bob Seager even wrote a top Selling Song about them (Roll me Away) Roll me away tonight. And make Poker Tables, Sand them ,Varnish them and make them your the Centerpiece of your home.
I personally would like to see them blown up with your Flash-Bangs.
Yes,I mean No, Never give Free Time to a a Team that was “Selected “ on the Merits of being creative.
Love You Geo ✌🏻
Yankee Papa says
Have to get back to you re carriers in a few days. I posted up a poster of Che… It listed his crimes…including murdering gays, burning books, and trashing blacks. Comment at bottom said that he became a “beacon of hope” (in spite of all that) If Lincoln can be cancelled, why not Che? … I’m spending the next three days in FB Jail… They saw it twice…probably didn’t know that was Che… or maybe worse… did… Next time, I think that I’ll just blow the explosive bolts. This is only going to get worse… -YP-
Skip .M says
This is the True reason we formed Delta Teams…To bust Patriots like like you YP out of FaceBook & Triter Jail.
Leave No Man Behind ✌🏻
Skip M. says
I know the R is not directly next to the W on my keyboard to form Twitter . Failure to pay attention to Detail before sending the round…Yup 🤷♂️
ELLIS T. says
“Iffen”, I use this word all the time. I may not actually be a hillbilly, but I think, act, and talk like one. They have hillbillies here in AZ., mostly working on ranches. Dang, ruined all them good tables. Sounds like something me and my buds would do. Too bad a first gen took a hit. Great story George!
I can picture the teamwork, and I have a great big smile. You rock, geo. Thank you for making my day.
Hey Theresa, that’s a bummer, but we only have Spools here!
As the Tick always said “Spoon!”, oh wait, “Spool!”
Awesome story, glad the truck was okay. Having tossed a few things to witness destruction, close calls seem to abound for some reason.
Yankee Papa says
…Explanation simple. North Korean saboteurs… Statement attested to by so many of the Army’s finest beyond questioning… -Yankee Papa-